If we were to have a guest come over for dinner (with the exception of Mark because he is already here), I would be ashamed at the uncleanliness of my house. There are papers everywhere... stuff covering the floor... many, many things out of place. Sometimes, it is overwhelming. It constantly seems like me against the house. When I have time off, I feel like I spend the whole day running errands, planning lessons, grading papers, grocery shopping, washing clothes (which is often a lot of the mess). It seems that I do not have enough time to do to quick pick up.
So much of me wants a clean, presentable house at all times. I get so stressed out trying to maintain it if I could ever get there in the first place. I see the vanity of cleaning... you clean but the next day there is a whole new set of dishes and clothes, etc. I look up to my mom who always managed to have a clean house or my sister who, even with two young children, always brings her home back to a state of beauty.
I think to myself often that I am lazy... but then I look at what I do with my extra time. I read, I plan, I do chores (but not enough to make everything spotless), I run errands, I strive to steward all of our resources well, and mostly, I spend time with people. I cherish time with my husband... when he comes home, he has priority... he has my time. While sometimes this leads to laziness (which I need to change), other times this is just valuing people over having a clean house. And... I think I am okay with that... :)