Friday, January 1, 2010


Since my sophomore year of college, I have had two fabulous girlfriends that will forever be soul friends. A year and a half ago, one of them moved to Virginia. In August, the other one moved to Waco (but I am happy to say that she is back in Houston). These two women are loving, listening, praying, thoughtful, considerate, reliable, beautiful, intentional, and so much more. We can go weeks, sometimes months, without a deep conversation, but like the best of soul friends... they are my confidants, the ones I turn to when life throws a curve ball, women who know how to celebrate life.

With our significant others, we met at Cafe Express for some priceless AA&M time. I cherished our time together. Thank you ladies for your friendship! I can hardly wait until we meet again!

2010: Joyful Obedience

For the past couple of years, in an attempt to live more intentionally and with more purpose, I have "named" my years. I have chosen a word or phrase which I strive to live according to throughout the year. This past year was a year of faith. I think of many places in which I have failed to live in faith and instead have chosen to live in fear. I remember a time when I loved and cherished diversity. I loved culture. And... this past year, it was like I took two steps back. I began fearing that which was different. I feared not being accepted or fitting in. I feared disappointing myself or someone else. I struggled with comparing myself to others. I feared death... more generally, the unknown. Over the past couple of months, I have seen God work in my life. I have seen Him open my heart to that which is unknown. He has worked despite my fears... and my God has proven Himself once again much, much bigger than all my fears.

So... this year, I am determined to stop telling God to wait... wait until I am ready to handle diversity, fear, comparison because I don't want to wait any longer to experience real life found only in Christ. This year, I am going to strive to live in faithful, joyful obedience.

I read a book to prepare myself for the advent season called Preparing for Jesus and there was a section on Mary. Mary was a young girl much younger than myself. When approached by an angel of the Lord telling her that she was going to be impregnated by the Spirit before she got married to Joseph, her response was not, "Wait... let me count the costs" but instead "Behold I am the servant of the Lord, let it be according to your word." That challenges me... here was a young girl who was facing a teenage pregnancy, rumors of infidelity among her people, the possibility of divorce by her betrothed, and so much more... and she did not hesitate to act obediently.

This year, my prayer is that my response to whatever or wherever the Lord calls will be, "Behold I am the servant of the Lord, let it be according to your word."

Intention vs. Action

Proverbs 23:6-8
Do not eat the bread of a man who is stingy; do not desire his delicacies, for he is like one who is inwardly calculating. "Eat and Drink!" he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the morsels that you have eaten and waster your pleasant words.

This verse struck my heart strings this morning. I felt conviction... If you ask certain people, I am sure that I could be described as a generous person. I realized this morning that my actions may be generous but my heart is still evil and depraved in many ways. While my actions are doing one thing, my heart is telling another story. I see myself as the calculator, the Pharisee who wants everyone to look up to them for their generous giving...

I had a conversation with Amy last night about giving and what is required of us. We both agreed that we wished it was specifically outlined in the Bible, but at the same time, we both agreed that it is probably better that it is not... When I think of giving, I am reminded of the widow in the Bible who "put in everything she had to live on..." Her actions seem pure there. I want that. I want to understand what it means to put in everything I have to live on and do it with pure intentions.

Somewhere this ties into hospitality. Muslims hugely value hospitality. I want to open my home as they do... never letting a glass get empty... always having something to offer anyone who stops by... and refusing to hoard things to myself including my time (which might be the most difficult thing). I want to give selflessly.

I don't want these verses to be true of me...