My intent when I started this blog was to use it more as a journal to track thoughts and moments in life that I really wanted to remember... to record life lessons... to see how God is moving in the course of my life. My desire is to be more consistent... more intentional.
I have been in the midst of transitioning into a new job for the past month. Lack of knowledge has left me feeling nervous, excited, and often overwhelmed. The desire to be a great teacher has made my days very full... often with meaningless busy work. I have not been faithful to Christ... to knowing Christ as I should. It's true, nonetheless, that in times of nervousness, fear, and being overwhelmed that I can always look to Christ for peace. I read Scripture and even in the midst of conviction I feel peace. My priorities realign and Christ reigns King once again... often, until tomorrow, when I begin the struggle all over again. Living life in the kingdom is a daily thing.
I am very grateful that in the midst of my shortcomings and failings that God is still faithful and loving. He teaches me daily. There have been a few Scriptures that I have been meditating on... trying to understand.
One of the is Isaiah 5:11-12. Woe to those who rise early in the morning, that they may run after strong drink, who tarry late into the evening as wine inflames them! They have lyre and harp, tambourine and flute and wine at their feasts, but they do not regard the deeds of the Lord, or see the work of his hands. Alcohol has never been a struggle for me... but excessive media consumption has been. It has been my "drug of choice"... my addiction. I don't know how many times I have read this scripture feeling quite self-righteous because I was not one who struggled with that sin. And then I read it a few days ago... and my mind has drifted back to this verse. I realize that there is nothing different than me and the individual in this scripture besides our "drug of choice". I am one who rises early to see the latest episode of fill-in-the-blank. I am one who stays up late wanting to just veg and turn off my brain to the world and watch one last show... one last movie. I am so consumed at times that I fail to see the Lord moving around me. And... honestly, even since I have been convicted of this, I still am struggling with giving it up.
And then there is Romans 10. I shared my thoughts on this with Justin and this scripture has been messing both of us up. There is still a chunk of it that I really don't understand at all (vs. 6-8). But there are some many treasures in this passage... Christ being the end (or purpose) of the law... people desiring God, seeking him, being zealous for knowing him, but being ignorant of the righteousness of God... and then confessing with your mouth and believing with your heart that Jesus is Lord to receive salvation- daily salvation. And this all ties back in to the heart being the wellspring of life. If one believes in their heart that Jesus is Lord, praise, love, and devotion to the King will direct one how to live and what choices to make.
Thank you, Lord, for being a faithful teacher. May you continue to soften my heart to hear your word.